Smash Apprentice Shorts
by Quizy
Summary: A few excerpts from The Apprentices in the Smash Mansion's everyday lives. Watch as Crazy explodes randomly, Nick gets rejected, Irani does Paperwork, and Markus eats several bowls of rice! Read How to SMASH: first!
1. Quizy's Inspiration

A magnificent building stood between the hulkish, slug like brown alloy who had no neck. He held a rocket launcher in his hand and wore a business like suit that all the professionals wore.

The building was dark red, with yellow stripes running down the front and back, and also had purple anteaters flying in and out through various holes in the building.

This was obviously Quizy's interpretation of Fan Fiction Author Headquarters, seeing as how I just said that, and I, Quizy, am the one writing it. Now, Quizy was a peculiar type of author. He had so far written one fan fiction for Super Smash Brothers Brawl. All the characters were pretty positive attitude'd towards him seeing as he hadn't done anything too cruel to them aside from killing off Olimar's family and also furthering Samus's stereotype as a woman who gets incredibly aggressive over the subject of her breasts or other sexual items. He was also kind of friendly with the other authors. He had so far gained the attention of the almighty, amazing, and incredibly awesome Pikachu adoring Pikana as well as a few other authors such as MahNati and a few others. But the thing that made Quizy stand out from the others (Besides the fact that he is currently talking about himself in third person and that he is a goofy hippy), is the fact the he takes SOOOOOOO long to write a chapter. And that is exactly what the hulkish, slug like brown alloy who had no neck that was created by the government with alloy DNA was here to fix.

He fired his rocket launcher at the building which exploded as the rocket hit it causing a small ball of smoke to come flying out of the larger building-shaped cloud of smoke and abruptly come into rather forceful contact with the ground. The smoke cleared to reveal a very dazed Deku Scrub. The Scrub lifted its little head to see the person who had caused his building to explode.

The Deku Scrub was two and a half feet tall with a green, wooden top hat with a black bow-tie on it, gray sweat pants and shirt that were a bit too big, and red striped socks. He also had a tail with a leaf growing out of the tip the flopped lazily to the side. It brushed its crazy birds nest like mess of leaf-hair out of its face and its light blue spectacles on the tip of its nose which made it look like a moon-gazing hippy (which it actually was, but that was beside the point) flashed up at the man as its normally happy green glowing Deku eyes gazed up the figure.

"Mr. Quizicalous McCookies, I presume?" the alloy asked in a husky voice that sounded as if it had to throw up.

"You know, you could have just rang the doorbell. And it's Quizy, bro", Quizy responded, "And I don't know how I managed to be the only one at Author HQ when you did that."

"Oh, the authors are all at this new dark red pizza place with yellow stripes running down the front and back with pink anteaters flying in and out through various holes in the building. I spent six months finding cans of soup that had free pizza coupons and slipped them into all of the authors' rooms except you so I could confront you like I'm doing now", he spouted proudly.

"That seems like a bit too much work"

"Shut up"

"Well, anyways, what do you want, you government working fat cat, you?"

"I've noticed a lot of gaps in between your story updates Mr. Quizy"

"First of all, screw the Mr. Just call me Quizy, second of all, I've been kind of busy" Quizy put his hands on his hips in an attempt to look convincing.

"But not busy enough to sit around eat M&M's eh???" the Fat Cat Alloy held up a photo of Quizy munching away on a can of M&M's.

"Hey!!! That's.... That's uncalled for!" Quizy shot a nut out of his mouth causing the Fat Cat Alloy to drop the photo of Quizy eating M&M's where Quizy hastily swooped in and snatched it. "Look, what do you want me to do?"

"Well, first of all, it's not very nice to hit people with edible seeds. Anyways, here's what I would suggest. How about you either write a second pet story that isn't meant to be taken serious to motivate you to write seriously, or... you can hit the road and I can have fun shooting rockets at your building some more."

Quizy narrowed his eyes "All you care about is your cash in your fat cat society, isn't it? Fine! I'll write a series of non-canon short stories for How to SMASH:, then! I'll also try harder to work on my entry for Pikana's contest and other stories I have planned, but never started on!" Quizy 'humph'ed at the Fat Hat.

"Alright, I guess you'd better get to cleaning this up before all the other authors return", grinned the Fat Nat

Quizy didn't say anything, but pulled out a notebook that was standard to all authors and began writing.

_'Suddenly, the smoldering remains of Author HQ was stomped on by a giant pink vulture with an extra twenty-first chromosome'_

"SQUUUAAAAAWK!!!!" shouted the vulture.

"What in the world is that?!"

_'Then, the vulture proceeded to eat the entire remains of the building, chew it, and spit it out as a luxurious five star hotel to which Quizy had a lifetime membership at'_

"Is that a hotel?! How are you doing this?!" the Fat Bat cried in confusion.

Quizy allowed his head to rotate 180 degrees out of sync with the rest of his body and glared at the Alloy "Fat Cat, pick a number between one and three"

The Fat Fat hesitated, then answered "Two! Of course, what other choice is there?" he replied smugly.

Quizy suddenly turned pitch black with eyes gleaming red, caught on fire, then grew to ten feet tall _**"Wrooooong! That is completely and undoubtedly wroooooong!!! The answer was 2.00000000000000000000000000001, you blundering wretched fat cat society fool!!!!!!!"**_

_'The Fat Cat shrieked in terror as the Giant Pink Vulture swooped down and ate him, slowly and painfully as it flew to the depths of hell'_

"SQUUUUUUAAAAAaaaaawwwwkk..." the vulture flew away taking the stupid Fat Rat with it.

Quizy turned back to normal "Don't you think that was a little harsh, Quizeh?"

His eyes glowed red again, revealing himself to be Quizeh, Quizy's side that makes all the daring and violent moves, he appears every once in awhile in author notes "No"

"Anyways, better get writing, a How to SMASH: short should be easy enough to write. Here's a quick episode of what an average breakfast at the Apprentice Mansion is like"


	2. Apprentice Breakfast

It was currently breakfast time in the Apprentice Mansion. Irani was unwillingly doing all the new paper work that Master Hand had shoved upon her at the table, while her assistant Markus was eating several bowls of rice next to her. Nagasha and Sarah were happily enjoying steaks and eggs together. Trey was having a bowl of cereal with no one in particular while Klonda was munching on some hay. Nola was having an in depth conversation with Lill about the appropriateness of wearing visible lingerie over some syrupy pancakes as Jack chilled in the seat next to Nola. Whether he was asleep or pretending so he wouldn't have to get involved was a mystery. Zee was enjoying a fruit salad with Evan while Shyan had a steak, Dark Kirby Jr. was eating some meat by himself, and Nick was attempting to woo Irani by making her an omelet.

"Nick, I'm trying to work! Go away!"

"Maybe later then..." Nick walked away making puppy eyes as Jax followed him, dropping several pieces of rubble that Cheerio attempted to sweep up, irritated.

"Ey, Cheer up Nick, plenty of other fish in the sea, right?" Markus called after him.

"Master Hand has got some serious problems concerning paper work", Irani sighed as she continued to fill out the mansion paper work.

Crazy Hand burst through the wall suddenly.

"Crazy Hand!!! I have enough paper work to do around here without you blasting holes in the wall, you know!?!"

"Shh...! Do you want Master Hand to hear? Just mentioning of the word is enough to draw him he- Hey is that food? Geez, I'm so hungry I could eat..."

"This omeleeeeeet???" Nick once again offered the omelet.

"No", said Irani and Crazy Hand.

"Well fine!" Nick threw his omelet on the floor. "If no one wants my omelet, then that's fine! What are you doing here anyway?"

Crazy Hand suddenly exploded in a fiery bar of soap.

"Happy Hanukkah everyone!!!" Markus and Trey jumped on the table, throwing confetti everywhere.

"Praise The Fountain of Dreams..." muttered Dark Kirby Jr. halfheartedly.


End file.
